As co-founder of Gildas Club, Gene Wilder turned his grief over the death of his third wife, comedian Gilda Radner, into action around ovarian cancer, and helping those affected by cancer in all its forms. “>
This man is so much an integral part of Gildas Club, to think that hes gone is very hard, Safani told The Daily Beast.
Wilder co-founded the organization in 1991, two years after his third wife, the comedian Gilda Radnermost famous as one of the founding cast members of Saturday Night Livedied from ovarian cancer at the age of 42.
He helped raise money for Gildas Club, so we could have a house on West Houston Street, Safani said of the groups central meeting place, which opened in 1995. The legacy of Gilda Radner is really also his legacy, so he is very dear to us at Gildas Club.
In the last 20-plus years, Gildas Clubs have become places for anyone with cancer and their loved ones, and those whose loved ones have died of the disease, to come together to share their experiences, memories, and so much more.
Everybody at the clubhouse is talking about this. Im sure everyone is sitting around remembering Gene, said Safani. Now both he and Gilda have gone.
Theres so many of us, said Safani. We breathe and live Gildas Club. Gene is part of the fabric that made this place. When something like this happens you have to take a moment and live in the moment. For me I feel immensely proud that part of this organization and that had the opportunity to be part of a special community. Theres a whole flood of thoughts and memories when anyone passes away. You keep remembering things.
Wilder and Radnerwhose most famous SNL characters were Roseanne Roseannadanna and masterful Barbara Walters alter ego Baba Wawahad married in 1984, after meeting on the set of Sidney Poitiers movie Hanky Panky (1982). She was his third wife, and he was her second husband.
Safani told The Daily Beast that Wilder (who himself battled non-Hodgkins lymphoma) was a big advocate of early detection for cancer because it had taken Radner so long to find out she had ovarian cancer. By then it was so late. She died probably due to the fact they didnt find it right awayalthough well never know.
Safani said Radner had not been feeling well for some time. The diagnostics and screening at that time arent what they are now. She went to many doctors. They thought she had Epstein-Barr. Who knows what happened, and why it was missed but unfortunately when one doctor, an oncologist, figured it out it was pretty late in the game. She started doing treatments, but unfortunately we lost her.
In a moving interview in People magazine after Radners death, Wilder had described in painful detail how Radners symptoms had long gone undiagnosed, starting from feeling faint on her way to a tennis game in 1986.
Finally, 10 months after her first exam, Radner was told she had ovarian cancer. Thank God, finally someone believes me! she said to Wilder.
Radner received counseling support in California. Bull had introduced her to cancer support groups; the comedian later wrote, There should be a thousand of them.
She talked openly about cancer, said Safani. Being around people who had cancer made a big difference. She talked about her fears and experiences and joked around. This community really understood what she was going through, and that really helped her a great deal. It was her wish that a community would open up in New York.
After Radner died, Wilder and his fellow Gildas Club co-founders came together to raise money to purchase the building on West Houston Street.
Wilder also helped found the Gilda Radner Ovarian Cancer Detection Center at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles, which now houses the Gilda Radner Hereditary Cancer Program.
In 1991, he told the Los Angeles Times that he wanted to create awareness about testing for CA 125, a substance in the blood that indicates ovarian cancer, and the risk factors for a person who has a family history of ovarian cancer.
I thought if we can make a dent in those two things, then Ill be happy. I didnt know if it could be done, or how long it would take, but it has been done now, Wilder told the paper, and I feel confident about that purpose being accomplished, and now I can go back to watercolor painting and maybe acting.
Wilders motivation in his activism, he told People, was hearing Radners voice. All along I kept hearing Gilda saying, Dont just sit there, dummy, do something!
When he was walking through the halls of Congress, waiting to testify about the issue, Wilder told People, I could hear that raspy, whining voiceGildassaying, Go on, dont make such a big deal of it. Now, dont get mushy, dont get melancholy. Youre not the victim. I was the victim. Dont go soft and sad and poetic, as if a great tragedy happened to you.
He was very sincere and dedicated about the importance of Gildas Club, and talked to Gilda as if she were alive, said Safani. I wasnt there, but he was very proud when he cut the ribbon to open the building. He was happy to be involved.
In 1991, he married his fourth wife, Karen Boyer, and moved to Connecticutbut, said Safani, Im sure this is one of the proudest things he did: to be able to help cancer patients.
In person, Wilder was humorous, she said. He is the way he is, she said, using the present tense. The way he speaks is very much the way he is. He is not very much different to the person you see regularly.
Since 1995, 11,000 individuals and families have visited the NYC branch of Gildas and the group today has over 4,200 members.
Over the years, Gildas Club has also grown nationally: There are 16 clubhouses across America, said Safani. In 2009, Gildas Club Worldwide merged with The Wellness Community to form the Cancer Support Community (CSC), now the largest cancer support network in the country.
In 2013 Wilder objected when the Madison, Wisconsin, chapter, who said younger members were unaware of Radner, wanted to change its name from Gildas Club to a CSC variant.
Wilder told of his shock of being informed of this: [The reporter] told me about the name change and I said, I had no idea. Then I pictured that Gilda was hearing it too and that she was really sad and asking me, How could they do that? She would have cried.
As her husband I could have told [Gildas Club of Madison] that I think it would hurt Gildas feelings terribly if she were watching what youre doing and that theres no reason to hurt her or those who love her. There are millions of people who still love her.
Today, Gildas Club has grown to embrace patients, family, friends, caregivers; children, teens, and adults.
Over 20,000 people use its services annually, said Safani. There are support groups, workshops, and social activities. There is a program for everyone, because we feel cancer doesnt just impact the person diagnosed, but the immediate network of that person, too. Everyone who has been impacted through cancer comes together here. You can make lifelong friends, and come together to live with cancer, whatever the outcome.
The spirit of Radner lives on very tangibly: A cartoon of her is featured all around the West Houston Street clubhouse, and every year Gildas Club holds GildaFest, a comedic celebration of Radner, which honors innovative female comedians.
This years honoree was Melissa McCarthy, the year before that, Amy Poehler. We try to keep the spirit of comedy alive and remember her in that way, said Safani. Gene was our honorary chair. Hes an icon of this organization.
Gildas Club also performs outreach work in specific hospitals, and its present goal is to reach the underserved communities of New York City, said Safani. It has a robust Spanish program, and intends to go out into every neighborhood to reach those who are uninsured and unemployed, where we feel the need is greatest.
And still, in the spirit of Radner and Wilder, humor is central to the Gildas Club mission. When you come to the clubhouse, youll meet people who are not incredibly sad. Everyone learns to live with cancer. Of course, you cant change the outcome, but you can change how you decide to live with it. People who go through Gildas Club meet friends. Sure, we cry, we get angry, but we laugh and joke, and have a good time. Humor is an essential part of living with cancer.